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all over the place on this one. something real, perhaps
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Witch of Portabello; By the river piedra, I sat and wept, end of poverty, little prince
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People Watching, Traveling, International Development, thinking random thoughts.
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A bit of everything, I suppose. Currently, it's william fitzsimmons and ingrid michaelson. a lot of jack johnson when i try to tame down my bostonian road rage. :)
random things
I have the uncontrollable passion for cutsie cats. I ponder on the most strange question for days. I draw all analogies back to conservation of mass or second law of thermodyanmics. Yes. if you haven't figured out by now, I'm a geek in disguise.
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Name
chenrei
Location
Cambridge, MA
Birthday
1982-10-22
Last login
8/15/2008 at 2:03 PM
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Not currently online
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What a heavy subject! I honestly haven't even thought about that.
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Reflection as a Chinese American
8/15/2008 at 2:05 PM
“Fake!!” – That’s the shocking title of the Metro as I boarded the T this morning. A whole series of scandalous accusations about the tainted Beijing Olympics were described vividly, as if the imperfections in the Chinese translate into the betterment of the American reporters. I can’t help but wonder, if all these “errors” had happened in Great Britain or France, would we even be talking about it?
As a first-generation Taiwanese American with friends of all backgrounds, I consider myself relatively unbiased when it comes to the convoluted relationships between the Chinese and the Americans. I am not talking about the governments and countries per se, but more so the cultures and people. Here, I would simply like to throw out some reflections.
Having been situated in places like San Francisco or Cambridge, Massachusetts, you can argue that I have been living most of my American life in rather liberal places. People of all colors, shapes, and sizes mingle with one another. Almost everyone on the street knows what “xie xie” or “ni-hao” mean. However, do the worldliness and acceptance of diversity truly translate into equal appreciation and elimination of predisposition of different cultural groups? If we can accept and appreciate the French taking the entire month of August off as the norm, instead of judging it as laziness and lack of productivity, why can’t we apply the same attitude towards the Chinese emphasis on efficiency and market forces, instead of pinning it down as lead-paint poison producers and unethical business men and women?
A good example of this mentality, I argue, can be seen with the situation in Tibet. Although I have not done the survey myself, I will put money down to say that many people against the “brutal attacks” of the Chinese government on the Tibetans cannot even point out where Tibet is on a map. By saying this, I don’t mean to say that actions from the Chinese officials cannot be adjusted or criticized. What I am trying to say is that it is simply untrue that anything the Chinese government does is atrocious and evil. Without discovering the truth, many here make firm statements about the unethical actions and believe in completely lope-sided and hugely-exaggerated stories. Another heated story that Chinese government is condemned is the Darfurian genocide. As passionate as I am in international development, I am doubtful of the genocide will cease if Chinese stops its trade with Khartoum. The United States, France and many other countries all have or had close relationships with the Sudanese government. To simplify the situation into “Chinese is the culprit” is, in my opinion, rather naïve and ineffective. Again, I am not on the Chinese side claiming that Chinese should take no blame whatsoever. My point is, instead of playing the blaming game and points out all the faults, that we need a better method to recognize China as an equal AND important partner and friend, not an inferior foe.
This brought me back to the Olympics. On the trip to Beijing in June, I sensed that this Olympic game was much more than a game. It’s a symbol for China. It is a statement to the world claiming, “It’s our time to shine.” To say that people are willing to make small sacrifices in the city will be an understatement. Think back to that one time you really want to impress someone, may it be a girl you really like or your boyfriend’s parents or the time when you see your high school sweetheart who broke up with you again on the 10th year graduation reunion. The sentiment is quite similar, except it’s on a much larger scale. Thus, if you can inflate your credentials a little harmlessly to impress, why cannot China do the same? To pick on the girl who is cuter with a bad singing voice or the computer-animated fireworks, we lose vision in what the purpose of the ceremony should be. If the goal is to entertain, why are we nick-picking what is irrelevant?
At the end of the day, I suppose no one can truly be unbiased since that will imply one with no cultural/ethnic/national backgrounds whatsoever. However, all I am asking for is perhaps fairness. To appreciate Chinese culture and mannerisms as you would for the French, the German, or the English. Only will we see and understand the real intentions of the Chinese if we can remove the filter of presumptions. Let us be real and honest about China. Truly honest – to the facts and to ourselves.
As a first-generation Taiwanese American with friends of all backgrounds, I consider myself relatively unbiased when it comes to the convoluted relationships between the Chinese and the Americans. I am not talking about the governments and countries per se, but more so the cultures and people. Here, I would simply like to throw out some reflections.
Having been situated in places like San Francisco or Cambridge, Massachusetts, you can argue that I have been living most of my American life in rather liberal places. People of all colors, shapes, and sizes mingle with one another. Almost everyone on the street knows what “xie xie” or “ni-hao” mean. However, do the worldliness and acceptance of diversity truly translate into equal appreciation and elimination of predisposition of different cultural groups? If we can accept and appreciate the French taking the entire month of August off as the norm, instead of judging it as laziness and lack of productivity, why can’t we apply the same attitude towards the Chinese emphasis on efficiency and market forces, instead of pinning it down as lead-paint poison producers and unethical business men and women?
A good example of this mentality, I argue, can be seen with the situation in Tibet. Although I have not done the survey myself, I will put money down to say that many people against the “brutal attacks” of the Chinese government on the Tibetans cannot even point out where Tibet is on a map. By saying this, I don’t mean to say that actions from the Chinese officials cannot be adjusted or criticized. What I am trying to say is that it is simply untrue that anything the Chinese government does is atrocious and evil. Without discovering the truth, many here make firm statements about the unethical actions and believe in completely lope-sided and hugely-exaggerated stories. Another heated story that Chinese government is condemned is the Darfurian genocide. As passionate as I am in international development, I am doubtful of the genocide will cease if Chinese stops its trade with Khartoum. The United States, France and many other countries all have or had close relationships with the Sudanese government. To simplify the situation into “Chinese is the culprit” is, in my opinion, rather naïve and ineffective. Again, I am not on the Chinese side claiming that Chinese should take no blame whatsoever. My point is, instead of playing the blaming game and points out all the faults, that we need a better method to recognize China as an equal AND important partner and friend, not an inferior foe.
This brought me back to the Olympics. On the trip to Beijing in June, I sensed that this Olympic game was much more than a game. It’s a symbol for China. It is a statement to the world claiming, “It’s our time to shine.” To say that people are willing to make small sacrifices in the city will be an understatement. Think back to that one time you really want to impress someone, may it be a girl you really like or your boyfriend’s parents or the time when you see your high school sweetheart who broke up with you again on the 10th year graduation reunion. The sentiment is quite similar, except it’s on a much larger scale. Thus, if you can inflate your credentials a little harmlessly to impress, why cannot China do the same? To pick on the girl who is cuter with a bad singing voice or the computer-animated fireworks, we lose vision in what the purpose of the ceremony should be. If the goal is to entertain, why are we nick-picking what is irrelevant?
At the end of the day, I suppose no one can truly be unbiased since that will imply one with no cultural/ethnic/national backgrounds whatsoever. However, all I am asking for is perhaps fairness. To appreciate Chinese culture and mannerisms as you would for the French, the German, or the English. Only will we see and understand the real intentions of the Chinese if we can remove the filter of presumptions. Let us be real and honest about China. Truly honest – to the facts and to ourselves.
Blind Vision
8/10/2008 at 3:31 PM
Marinated baby corn. I never realized it has such a pungent fragrance until last night when I was blind. I wanted to experience blindness, the inability to see. You taped up my eyes. We walked to the grocery store. First thing that struck me was the vulnerability. Instantly, I recognize that I would be completely lost in this world if you let go of my hands. Feeling obsolete is terrifying. Instead of being a human being, you become an object fighting for survival, adding no value to your surroundings.
Once the level of philosophical fright passed, the next wave came to mind of trying to sense the world more perceptively, without sight. I gauged whether we were on pavement or crossing the street by the texture of the ground transmitted through the sole of my shoes. Hearing dogs barking in the distance; hearing cars coming and going; smelling the sweetness of cantaloupe. feeling the texture of prosciutto between my fingers and palms. All of a sudden, there is a lot more richness in the world than i even allowed myself to experience. As if the world has always been trying to send me the vast amount of information, yet I was always too ignorant to fully embrace it.
Once I regained sight, coming back to reality was an experience all by itself as well. There was an imaginary world that I have created in my blind world with colorful fruits, pies and bottles of wine. That world dissipated like bubbles in preseco that's been sitting out overnight. The apples were green, not baby-ish pink. How I still relied on vision, albeit its nonexistence! Being disappointed by how my imaginary vision has betrayed me. Slightly surprised by how the existence of objectives and the world still required the forms and shapes and colors in my blind world, despite their irrelevance.
This whole experience gave me a whole new light beyond simply vision though. It humbled me. It made me realize how I haven't been appreciating what's around me to the extent it deserves. It's as if I have been blind for the past two month. Yesterday, our embrace opened my eyes, just as you peeled away the bandages. Perhaps, imperfections are seen, but perfections are felt. As I depend on my vision to go on my daily lives, i have let little miracles and perfects slip away, un-noticed. So I want to say thank you. thank you for letting me feel. feel perfection and contentment.
Once the level of philosophical fright passed, the next wave came to mind of trying to sense the world more perceptively, without sight. I gauged whether we were on pavement or crossing the street by the texture of the ground transmitted through the sole of my shoes. Hearing dogs barking in the distance; hearing cars coming and going; smelling the sweetness of cantaloupe. feeling the texture of prosciutto between my fingers and palms. All of a sudden, there is a lot more richness in the world than i even allowed myself to experience. As if the world has always been trying to send me the vast amount of information, yet I was always too ignorant to fully embrace it.
Once I regained sight, coming back to reality was an experience all by itself as well. There was an imaginary world that I have created in my blind world with colorful fruits, pies and bottles of wine. That world dissipated like bubbles in preseco that's been sitting out overnight. The apples were green, not baby-ish pink. How I still relied on vision, albeit its nonexistence! Being disappointed by how my imaginary vision has betrayed me. Slightly surprised by how the existence of objectives and the world still required the forms and shapes and colors in my blind world, despite their irrelevance.
This whole experience gave me a whole new light beyond simply vision though. It humbled me. It made me realize how I haven't been appreciating what's around me to the extent it deserves. It's as if I have been blind for the past two month. Yesterday, our embrace opened my eyes, just as you peeled away the bandages. Perhaps, imperfections are seen, but perfections are felt. As I depend on my vision to go on my daily lives, i have let little miracles and perfects slip away, un-noticed. So I want to say thank you. thank you for letting me feel. feel perfection and contentment.
+1
7/15/2008 at 1:43 PM
so there we go, how life can just spin around like that. Before you know it, your life's undergone morphogenesis beyond recognition.
there was a type of candy i used to love as a child. it was pretty much a sugar cube coated with citric acid. So when you first put it in your mouth, the tang would make you cringe, but then the sweetness would eventually permeate through and make you want to do that again to get the sugar rush.
+1, it's a bit like the opposite. oh, the powdered sugar coating tasted so sweet. i'm in denial of finding out what might be in the core. Perhaps i shall spit it out and put it back in the wrapper before it turns sour, like lemon. When did you become so cynical, a friend asked. Since so many +1's have added up to zero, perhaps. Since the universe stopped making sense, perhaps; since i finished licking off the sugar coat. perhaps.
there was a type of candy i used to love as a child. it was pretty much a sugar cube coated with citric acid. So when you first put it in your mouth, the tang would make you cringe, but then the sweetness would eventually permeate through and make you want to do that again to get the sugar rush.
+1, it's a bit like the opposite. oh, the powdered sugar coating tasted so sweet. i'm in denial of finding out what might be in the core. Perhaps i shall spit it out and put it back in the wrapper before it turns sour, like lemon. When did you become so cynical, a friend asked. Since so many +1's have added up to zero, perhaps. Since the universe stopped making sense, perhaps; since i finished licking off the sugar coat. perhaps.
Green is the New Chihuahua
6/8/2008 at 1:03 PM
that organic cotton t-shirt costs sixty dollars.
are you seriously going to swipe that credit card to buy an organic-fair-trade-save-the-poor-planet-and-outrageously-expansive t-shirt?
walking down Newbury street, I noticed three new stores dedicated to selling GREEN products.
With a "RED" t-shirt on my back and "RED" i-pod in my ears, i am probably not the best person to be critical about the consumerism-centric mentality of solving global challenges.
But I can't help but wonder, do we want global warming and Africa to be the new chihuahua?
When faced with a serious global challenge like climate change or extreme poverty, are we doing the issues justice by telling people that they are making a difference simply by buying a t-shirt, wearing a wristband, or buying that expansive cup of coffee from Nicaragua? I can't help but wonder, how many people with that organic fair-trade tote-bag really know about emission permits or the pros and cons of coal power plants and wind power generation. How many people with the RED products really understand the importance of clean water and the complexity of poverty.
Is being fashionable and cool and "oh-that's-hot" going to slow down the melting of the ice caps?
is Green the new Chihuahua?
are you seriously going to swipe that credit card to buy an organic-fair-trade-save-the-poor-planet-and-outrageously-expansive t-shirt?
walking down Newbury street, I noticed three new stores dedicated to selling GREEN products.
With a "RED" t-shirt on my back and "RED" i-pod in my ears, i am probably not the best person to be critical about the consumerism-centric mentality of solving global challenges.
But I can't help but wonder, do we want global warming and Africa to be the new chihuahua?
When faced with a serious global challenge like climate change or extreme poverty, are we doing the issues justice by telling people that they are making a difference simply by buying a t-shirt, wearing a wristband, or buying that expansive cup of coffee from Nicaragua? I can't help but wonder, how many people with that organic fair-trade tote-bag really know about emission permits or the pros and cons of coal power plants and wind power generation. How many people with the RED products really understand the importance of clean water and the complexity of poverty.
Is being fashionable and cool and "oh-that's-hot" going to slow down the melting of the ice caps?
is Green the new Chihuahua?
Walking...
5/17/2008 at 6:56 PM
i am quite sure i'm one notch away from being officially diagnosed as crazy.
that hypersensitivity that i possess when i enjoy my solitude must be clinically sickening
walking down the nice grassy area along Storrow drive...noticing everything, everyone...all shapes and sizes...all different combinations....somehow..it feels a bit phony. just a bit.
saw three kids being led by their parents trying to walk
i mean...what the hell...won't they just walk when they feel like it one day?
so forced. kid's legs awkwardly bent, jerking forward to match their arms being moved by their parents who aren't unaware of the little screams...
i heard them though. but i didn't do anything. why should i? I am one step down from being clinical psycho, remember?
sunny days in Boston are very depressing for single people, especially single people who are crazy like me.
all benches outside are occupied by couples.....old couple, young couple, couple in mid-fight, couple that can't get their hands off of each other, one guy expressing his long-hidden affection to one girl...it's like creation. it's like birth. it's spring. and it's
love
oh...there is a sliced head sculpture there. Started thinking whether that's made from CT scans...that must be one big CT scan for that big person to fit in there. Did the guy know that his brain slices are going to be turned into stones and look over the Charles river for a long long time? If so, i bet he would've fixed his hair better.
my crazy self....need to retreat...exhausted...i wish i was clinically crazy, so i don't have to pretend to be normal.
do you feel this way too? am i the only one screaming silently?
that hypersensitivity that i possess when i enjoy my solitude must be clinically sickening
walking down the nice grassy area along Storrow drive...noticing everything, everyone...all shapes and sizes...all different combinations....somehow..it feels a bit phony. just a bit.
saw three kids being led by their parents trying to walk
i mean...what the hell...won't they just walk when they feel like it one day?
so forced. kid's legs awkwardly bent, jerking forward to match their arms being moved by their parents who aren't unaware of the little screams...
i heard them though. but i didn't do anything. why should i? I am one step down from being clinical psycho, remember?
sunny days in Boston are very depressing for single people, especially single people who are crazy like me.
all benches outside are occupied by couples.....old couple, young couple, couple in mid-fight, couple that can't get their hands off of each other, one guy expressing his long-hidden affection to one girl...it's like creation. it's like birth. it's spring. and it's
love
oh...there is a sliced head sculpture there. Started thinking whether that's made from CT scans...that must be one big CT scan for that big person to fit in there. Did the guy know that his brain slices are going to be turned into stones and look over the Charles river for a long long time? If so, i bet he would've fixed his hair better.
my crazy self....need to retreat...exhausted...i wish i was clinically crazy, so i don't have to pretend to be normal.
do you feel this way too? am i the only one screaming silently?
Wailing Wall
5/15/2008 at 4:40 PM
If I were May, I would've died and faded
If I were May, I would've hated
All the atrocities.
If one tear drop is one live, have i filled an ocean?
Where is the wailing wall to stuff my messages of sorrow?
If i were May, I would've been more than dismayed
If I were May, I would've sat and wept and wept and wept
but it's too unfortunate. i am not may.
I feel ache, but not pain
I feel sorrow, but not desperation.
i am simply me, that lucky bitch who doesn't live in Myamer or China and is not May.
i am simply here....
茍延殘喘
If I were May, I would've hated
All the atrocities.
If one tear drop is one live, have i filled an ocean?
Where is the wailing wall to stuff my messages of sorrow?
If i were May, I would've been more than dismayed
If I were May, I would've sat and wept and wept and wept
but it's too unfortunate. i am not may.
I feel ache, but not pain
I feel sorrow, but not desperation.
i am simply me, that lucky bitch who doesn't live in Myamer or China and is not May.
i am simply here....
茍延殘喘
I will take a Noah at any time...
5/10/2008 at 9:25 PM
we sat in the taxi back to Cambridge from a late night clubbing. you jokingly complained how we all got hit on but you. I looked into your face and told you, "i will take a noah at any time." that true connection, real care. I will take a noah at any time.
Pensive and Aloof
5/10/2008 at 9:22 PM
So you broke the news that you broke up with her. I hope i wasn't the reason. This morning, you said that i looked pensive. I wanted to tell you that i don't think you are the one. I wanted to tell you that i am still broken. I wanted to tell you so many things that would make you go away. but how my actions betrayed me. couldn't say anything of those things. I kissed you gently on your right shoulder blade as you placed your hand around my waist. I wanted to tell you so many things.
aloof....
you asked me if i was aloof. maybe it's my foreigner grammar or my lethargy, i told you i had no idea what that meant. you said you were aloof. this morning. under bright sunlight, i want to tell you that, no, i am not aloof. I want to give it all. but i can't. the cynical me has learned to be reserved. as i type away, i feel you drifting away.
aloof....
you asked me if i was aloof. maybe it's my foreigner grammar or my lethargy, i told you i had no idea what that meant. you said you were aloof. this morning. under bright sunlight, i want to tell you that, no, i am not aloof. I want to give it all. but i can't. the cynical me has learned to be reserved. as i type away, i feel you drifting away.
Social Networking....
5/1/2008 at 9:27 AM
Just recently got involved in a project that I shouldn't be involved in. Trying to build a social networking/database for international development. Coincidentally, my reliable lover, mr. google, brought me to humble voice. Let's try each other out, shall we, HV?
as for my international development databse/networking site, I guess that's gotta wait for awhile. Maybe that will come. sometime. when i become a bit more computer literate, perhaps.
as for my international development databse/networking site, I guess that's gotta wait for awhile. Maybe that will come. sometime. when i become a bit more computer literate, perhaps.
Comments Community
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5/2/2008 at 7:33 PM
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5/2/2008 at 12:29 PM
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5/2/2008 at 8:23 AM
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Welcome to HV!
Welcome to world of ART!!
5/2/2008 at 1:03 AM
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5/1/2008 at 2:51 PM
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5/1/2008 at 2:36 PM
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5/1/2008 at 11:24 AM
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5/1/2008 at 7:35 AM
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you'll love it here!
5/1/2008 at 5:45 AM
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5/1/2008 at 12:15 AM
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welcome, and i hope you have fun around here at hv.
slainte!
nater