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Top ten things you should never say to a DJ
8/13/2008 at 2:52 AM
1. PLAY SOMETHING GOOD...SOMETHING WE CAN DANCE TO !
The DJ has to play for more than one person...so what you hate may be another's favorite song and EVERYTHING played here can be danced to one way or another.
2. WOULD YOU PLAY SOMETHING WITH A "BEAT" !
BE SERIOUS! We know of NO songs played in a club that don't have some sort of BEAT!
3. I DON'T KNOW WHO SINGS IT AND I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG, BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS....
PLEASE don't sing for the DJ. They have to put up with smoke filled rooms and dangerous decibel levels all night long...Do them a favor and DON'T give them a rendition of your favorite song.
4. EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT !
Oh, sure... you polled everyone in the club and, as their spokesperson, you're requesting the song.
5. EVERYBODY WILL DANCE IF YOU PLAY IT !
The DJ won't. I guess that blows a hole in that theory!
6. I CAN GET LAID IF YOU PLAY IT !
Why settle for one night? Buy the album and get laid for a whole month!
7. I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT !
The ONLY people who can get away with that statement write the DJ's paycheck!
8. WHAT DO YOU HAVE ?
It's a lot easier for you to go have another beer and figure out what you want to hear than it is for the DJ to recite the name of every record in the booth!
9. HEY, MAN, NOBODY CAN DANCE TO THIS !
It's NOT advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (but some people do anyway) ! HOWEVER, even if there is only ONE person on the floor, it STILL contradicts the statement!
10. PLAY IT SOON, BECAUSE WE'RE LEAVING !
If your gonna leave after he plays it, why shouldn't he wait till the very last song so you stay all night!
SOME ASSORTED THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A DJ:
1. If you ask for a song and the DJ says he just played it, DON'T SAY "Well I just got here." It makes absolutely no difference.
2. DON'T SAY "Is this the only music you play?" If you go to a Chinese restaurant, you wouldn't ask for Italian food.
3. If you ask for a song...BE SPECIFIC. DON'T SAY "I wanna hear something....anything but this!" Try going to the bar and saying,
"I wanna drink something....anything but this..." You can't complain if you're not SPECIFIC.
4. HOWEVER, if you are specific and the DJ says he doesn't have that song, DON'T SAY "What!?!? What do you mean you don't have it? what kind of DJ are you? HE MAY SHOOT YOU!!!!!
5. SPECIAL NOTE! A night club DJ gets very little RESPECT. They are expected to play everything for everybody. It is impossible to satisfy all of the people all of the time, yet club DJs are expected to do just that. If a radio DJ tells his listeners a song is a hit, the majority of the people figure it must be "Because they say so on the radio." However 80% of the time that same song was being played in a club long before radio DISCOVERED the NEW song.
So give the DJ a break! The next time you request a song, stop and THINK before you speak.
And above all....if the DJ has one hand on the mixing board, one hand on the turntable, and the headphones on....Don't bug him
....HE'S MIXING!!!!
The DJ has to play for more than one person...so what you hate may be another's favorite song and EVERYTHING played here can be danced to one way or another.
2. WOULD YOU PLAY SOMETHING WITH A "BEAT" !
BE SERIOUS! We know of NO songs played in a club that don't have some sort of BEAT!
3. I DON'T KNOW WHO SINGS IT AND I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG, BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS....
PLEASE don't sing for the DJ. They have to put up with smoke filled rooms and dangerous decibel levels all night long...Do them a favor and DON'T give them a rendition of your favorite song.
4. EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT !
Oh, sure... you polled everyone in the club and, as their spokesperson, you're requesting the song.
5. EVERYBODY WILL DANCE IF YOU PLAY IT !
The DJ won't. I guess that blows a hole in that theory!
6. I CAN GET LAID IF YOU PLAY IT !
Why settle for one night? Buy the album and get laid for a whole month!
7. I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT !
The ONLY people who can get away with that statement write the DJ's paycheck!
8. WHAT DO YOU HAVE ?
It's a lot easier for you to go have another beer and figure out what you want to hear than it is for the DJ to recite the name of every record in the booth!
9. HEY, MAN, NOBODY CAN DANCE TO THIS !
It's NOT advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (but some people do anyway) ! HOWEVER, even if there is only ONE person on the floor, it STILL contradicts the statement!
10. PLAY IT SOON, BECAUSE WE'RE LEAVING !
If your gonna leave after he plays it, why shouldn't he wait till the very last song so you stay all night!
SOME ASSORTED THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A DJ:
1. If you ask for a song and the DJ says he just played it, DON'T SAY "Well I just got here." It makes absolutely no difference.
2. DON'T SAY "Is this the only music you play?" If you go to a Chinese restaurant, you wouldn't ask for Italian food.
3. If you ask for a song...BE SPECIFIC. DON'T SAY "I wanna hear something....anything but this!" Try going to the bar and saying,
"I wanna drink something....anything but this..." You can't complain if you're not SPECIFIC.
4. HOWEVER, if you are specific and the DJ says he doesn't have that song, DON'T SAY "What!?!? What do you mean you don't have it? what kind of DJ are you? HE MAY SHOOT YOU!!!!!
5. SPECIAL NOTE! A night club DJ gets very little RESPECT. They are expected to play everything for everybody. It is impossible to satisfy all of the people all of the time, yet club DJs are expected to do just that. If a radio DJ tells his listeners a song is a hit, the majority of the people figure it must be "Because they say so on the radio." However 80% of the time that same song was being played in a club long before radio DISCOVERED the NEW song.
So give the DJ a break! The next time you request a song, stop and THINK before you speak.
And above all....if the DJ has one hand on the mixing board, one hand on the turntable, and the headphones on....Don't bug him
....HE'S MIXING!!!!
The 36 Rules of Life
8/13/2008 at 2:34 AM
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world.
25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
26. If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved it's full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
27. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.
36. Your friends love you anyway.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world.
25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
26. If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved it's full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
27. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.
36. Your friends love you anyway.
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