Word In A Letter
You know the feeling when you start writing in an empty sheet, attempting for your words to be Significant, Unique and Special, only to realize after you've written it that everything you just said has been circling around for ages?
It's like, I suddenly see the Light and realize that man, what I wrote just now is beyond stupid. Being tragic and angst is 'in' right now, but is it really what I want to say? Because I know that I'm neither tragic nor angst-ridden. Melodramatic, that's what I am.
You know when you want to be cool in a way, and try to act as if you were special? Either tell people that you're talented or saying that you hate the world, that you're very lucky or that you are liked by many? Even this, what I'm doing right now, is a sad attempt at making people realize something they have either realized years ago…or will never understand. Pitifully trying to ridicule myself acting as a star in a personal pity-party while tying to impress people with faked maturity; when I'm neither wise nor smart nor a mature adult. Very nice, where's the rum?
Sorry, you must be either confused or annoyed right now. Why am I writing to you, of all people? I don't know either. I could say that I don't know what's true and what's false anymore, and that would be true and false at once.
And now I realize what other people had understood ages ago: it doesn't matter. Why should I care if you think I am retard, freak, blind and everything in between? You're a human just like me. We were born with faults and flaws that makes us 'us'. I'm not you because you and I have differences. And those differences are what might give us an edge above the other - I can't feel shame for not being you.
I don't know what I could tell you anymore. I would if I could but I can't so I won't, and even if I could I shouldn't because someone wise wouldn't. So I won't.
Just please believe me when I tell you that I'm not angry. I'm not happy, yea, but really – there's nothing I have written with negative feelings in this letter. I'm true to myself. I have gotten over it. You may have surpassed me, and I can't help it. But I want you to be aware of something I realized while writing this. Even though I believe in the phrases 'survival for the fittest' and 'what doesn't kill me makes me stronger', I still know that they aint everything.
The happiest people aren't those who have gained most.
The happiest people are those who're satisfied with what they have.
With regards,
Me
